Ottoman Makeover

I have held on to my college ottoman, planning and planning to do something with it. It was just too girly and "dorm room like" for our home. I also wanted to bring some red into the living room to go with our gray, red, and blue palette. Well, I finally took the plunge and I wanted to share it with you all. Hopefully I'll inspire you to take on a little project yourself.

It was a pretty simple process. I bought 2 yards of fabric at JoAnn Fabrics. It was on sale for 7.99/yard - not bad, not bad. I bought the staple gun off Amazon, right here). It was great for the job, and relatively inexpensive. Besides that, all  I needed was scissors. So to sum it up:

1. Fabric (2 yards or so, depending on your ottoman size)

2. Ottoman

3. Staple gun (light duty should be fine if your fabric isn't crazy thick) plus staples

4. Scissors

Step one: Cut fabric for the lid. You can get all fancy and measure it, but I just held the fabric to the lid and left a little extra on each side to fold under to be stapled. I did the stapling, folding the corners in like a gift. Do this for all four corners, making sure to pull the fabric very snug. This is a picture of my folding for the underside of the ottoman, but it's the same technique:         

Step two: You can now move on the the main part of the ottoman. My ottoman had little stump legs, so I had to remove them, as shown. My ottoman is legless now, but it's okay. He still does his job.

Step three: Finishing off the ottoman was a little tricky for me. I wasn't sure what to do because my staples were showing, like the left picture shows. I decided to just cut a little more fabric and place it over this stapled section, stapling where it can't be seen, on the inside and bottom of the ottoman. It looks like the right picture.
  

Anddd that's it! The much anticipated before and after:

It was a lot easier than I anticipated, and I have to say that using that staple gun was pretty therapeutic ;) If you have any questions, I'll try to help! I know I didn't provide a crystal clear explanation but hopefully it helps you out a little. Thanks for stopping by!

xo, Amanda 

Hope & Family

“Hope holds a breaking heart together.” –Ann Voskamp. 

These words are truth. And I think I would add “family” as well. Hope and family hold a breaking heart together.

I keep thinking of my time at home in Pennsylvania. I flew out last week unexpectedly, because my Grandma passed away. It was a huge shock – I’m still shocked – but I hurried home and was able to be there for the services and be with my family during this difficult time. I will forever be grateful that I was able to be there. I keep thinking of how my family pulled together. My immediate family, my might-as-well-be immediate family, my tons of cousins, my married-into family, my true blue friends from near & not so near… Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on it, I want to try to put into words how grateful I am for that.

I think Grandma would be proud of you all. The way you all gathered around to support, hug, and love us. I’ve never felt so close to all of you and I think that shows how God has a way of bringing people together when they need it the most. It is an indescribable blessing to know that I’m not alone in my grief – I know you’re all grieving too, and it’s not that it makes it happy, but it makes me feel less alone. And then I think of how many of you expressed love to me, even offering me a huge bodily organ that I’m in need of. LOL What a crazy sentence that is. The burden last week was so great, it’s still so great, but you all helped in carrying it. Thank you, so much.

And Grandma, I know it all would have made you smile. I love your smile and your laugh, your entire sense of humor. You had a heart of gold and I know you’ll live on in each of us, even those who don’t directly share your genes. You’ll be in all of our hearts. And I know you’re in Paradise. Blessed assurance is blessed indeed. I love you.

Glory to be Revealed

The community of people I've discovered since being diagnosed with PSC that I never knew existed is amazing to me... I feel like my world has gotten much, much bigger. And even the things I think about now are bigger (and often scarier)... But I think they are all things God wanted me to open my eyes to. 

It's crazy how huge life changes, truly change your entire perspective. I'm thankful God is helping the perspective change to be a positive one. Yes, I have moments of massive negativity, but they don't consume me. I can't let them, and God doesn't let them. 

I'm resting in this tonight -

Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Xo, Amanda

Washek Home: Stage One

Guess what?!?!?!

After nearly a month, our belongings are here. *super long exhale* We are super excited to have some furniture (mostly our bed. our glorious bed). I plan to post portions of the decorating process, because I just love things like that. I love finding affordable ways to make a space home, and hopefully blogging about it will help inspire me further, and maybe even inspire you! But I have to say that I don't like when bloggers only post the pretty, perfect, final stage. So here is real life -

Stage One:

Yeah. And that's just the kitchen.

Here is a quick snapshot of the whole place, before any of our stuff arrived:

I love this little place. It has a few quirks we didn't know about, but mosquitoes and scary cricket looking bugs aside, it's perfect for us. Wish us luck with the homemaking process!

XO, Amanda

Chin up!

I can’t be the only one. The only one who goes through her day, almost the entire day, just going through the motions, feeling blah for no reason.

Well, this was 100% me today, until around 4:00. I was just feeling like the day was kind of pointless. But then, all of the sudden, it was like God whispered to me. Suddenly I noticed how beautiful the clouds looked. How white they were against the impossibly blue sky. And the fact that my eyes can see this beauty, just by looking up.

Then I started getting a little sentimental and looking into it a bit too far… and I thought of something that I think is profound but in reality is probably quite cheesy and silly sounding. But here it is anyway.

If I had kept looking at my own level, or even worse, down at the ground… If I kept looking at the hum-drum part of life and never bothered to lift my eyes… I never would have experienced the small, yet huge, gift of the bright white clouds against the bright blue sky.

So here is my reminder to myself, and to you if you don’t mind – look up. Especially on days like mine, or on horrid days from the pits of Hades… Look up! I guarantee it will help. Of course I haven’t tested this on rainy days, but I bet it will work in any weather, because there is just something about the sky and the expanse of it, and something about the lifting of your chin. There is something about looking beyond yourself and remembering there is a huge sky above you, that you cannot even fathom the gigantic-ness of. There is something about looking outside yourself, looking ABOVE yourself, that puts things in the proper perspective.

Peace

Well, clearly I'm really great at keeping up with this......

Let's try again.

Hi whoever bothers to read this - you are awesome :)

We are in Cary, NC now, which is in the Raleigh area. Yup, we stayed in North Carolina! And get this, I think I am okay with it. Life is going crazy around me, and I have the strangest sense of peace. The only explanation for it is my Prince of Peace. God must be doing something big because I have never been through anything like what I'm going through right now, and God has given me peace. Yes, I have times of complete and utter fear, but it doesn't consume me. I am keeping my head above water.

Maybe you're wondering what exactly I'm alluding to. Well here is the short version:

In May, I was diagnosed with a liver disease called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis. To put it simply, PSC (just call it that - it's way easier) causes a problem with the liver's bile ducts. Normally, the bile ducts look like a tree with many branches, but in my MRI's, the branches are very blurry and withered looking, which means bile cannot flow through my liver the way that it should. This causes damage to the liver, which leads to eventual cirrosis of the liver. The only way to fix this problem is to get a liver transplant. (PSC can reoccur even after transplant but does not always. The numbers vary but from what I've found, 10-25% of people experience PSC again post-transplant). PSC's cause is unknown but it is thought to be an auto-immune condition.

My diagnosis came as a result of intense dizziness that landed me in the hospital. During that time, I underwent MANY tests and procedures, and after 9 days, I was finally released. I was then referred to a liver specialist in Chapel Hill at UNC. I cannot say enough great things about my doctor and the team there. It truly is a great hospital and I am very blessed to be taken care of there.

Life since then has been a complete whirlwind. For awhile after being released, I was doing better. However, my jaundice was not going away completely and just recently I noticed it was worsening. Yellow is not a good color on me - it never has been - and the vain part of me hates having yellow eyes and skin... but at least this increasing yellowness alerted me that something was wrong. Immediately after arriving in Cary, I was seen by my doctor. I was alone at the appointment because it was literally Justin's very first day at his new job, and my doctor informed me that my liver levels are worsening and that he foresees transplant being needed much sooner than first anticipated, perhaps within the year.

So now, at 23 years old, just 2.5 months after diagnosis, I am undergoing evaluation to be placed on a liver transplant waiting list. My life has done a complete 180 in a matter of weeks. And yet, I can see God everywhere in this. I know that He wanted me in the Raleigh area so I would be close to Chapel Hill. I know He wanted me to continue care with my current doctor and not have to switch like I would have needed to if we'd moved elsewhere. I know that He gave Justin the job he has so that we would have adequate health insurance to assist with this huge surgery. And I know that God is holding me together, because there is no other explanation for my ability to get up every morning and face the day. Yes, I am sad. Yes, I get angry about all of this. But mostly, I am truly doing okay. I am relying on God to get me through this. I can feel His strength in my weakness. Even though this trial brings a lot of unknowns, I know that I am in the palm of His hand and there must be some reason for all of this.

So why am I sharing all of this?

I think it would be a waste to not share my experience. If I can help one person feel less desperate, less alone... no matter if it's in a health situation or otherwise, then I will feel like this disease had some purpose. I'm not sure how God will use this trial or how He will use me, but I think sharing my story is the first step.

And now a shameless plug - if you pray, will you please pray for me? and don't forget my husband. He is - what word can explain it? - remarkable. He holds me together when I'm falling apart and is always pointing me to Christ. And my family. Pray for them, too. They are the most amazing group of people and I am eternally grateful to be born into their flock :)

And if you don't pray - talk to me about God. I'd love to tell you about Him.

Love,
Amanda

Home

Home. Where my house is. Where my job is. Where my heart is.

People have many different definitions of what “home” is. I, personally, feel that I am a nomad who is doomed to be a nomad. My home is currently in Eastern North Carolina, and let me tell you, I love the ocean. I’d never been to the ocean on American soil before moving here. The enormity of it takes my breath away every time. But for my husband and I, even though we've grown to love certain aspects of life here... (how could we not? It's where we've spent our first year of marriage, after all) it's not fully "home" to us. We still find ourselves referring to our hometown as "home" every so often. I wonder how long that will last.

My future home is coming soon, but it is To Be Determined….. what else is new? I feel like my whole life is To Be Determined. But wait, that’s not true, my heart, the Spirit, whispers. My life has already been determined. “For I know the plans I have for you.”

But, but but… I want to be by my family. I want my friends. I want my comfortable, Northern, small town, beautiful home that I left behind. Even if I can’t be RIGHT THERE in Northern PA… I just want to be closer. Significantly closer.

Is this cowardly? Or is this just my heart’s natural cry?

And then there’s the fact, the undeniably true fact, that my home is wherever my husband is. And I know this fact is true. When he’s gone, I don’t feel fully home. I know this from years of dating him from 10,000 miles away, at the worst point.  I know with all my heart that anywhere I am with him, is home.

I just wish all the aspects of my definition of “home” could come together.

But.

Then again, I’m not the Sovereign One. Maybe that’s not what is supposed to happen now. Maybe I am learning the hard lesson of finding joy in all circumstances. And let me just say, I’m sick of hard lessons. Year 23 is a doozy already, for reasons I’ll write about soon, and sometimes I wonder how much more can be thrown at me, at us.

I guess we’ll see. In the meantime, I will do my very best (which is never enough by the way, so thank the Lord I don’t have to be enough) to find joy in these circumstances and in the circumstances to come.

Now that I’ve poured out my jumbled thoughts and musings --- What is home to you? Are you a fellow nomad like me? Something tells me there’s a lot of us out there.

xo,

Amanda

This is just a test post!

A real post is coming soon! :)