I think when we get to heaven, maybe God will show us, or maybe we'll just suddenly know because our eyes have been opened, just how our life story and all its jumbled pieces came together into the mural that is our life.
I can only imagine how beautiful and awe inducing it will be to see it all come together. How amazing will it be to see how my life affected her life and how her life touched his life which then affected... You get the idea. What makes my heart ache though is that these effects we have on each other aren't always good. In fact they're often not good at all.
They are bruises. Jabs. They're scars. Some long lasting and rippling, some not so bad and overcome. A cycle of violence started, affecting the very way that someone thinks and functions so that he doesn't even know what's normal anymore. His idea of good is relative to his own experiences, and let's just say that good is far from true Good. He's blinded. So he blinds others. Until someone, Someone, steps in. The cycle can only be broken by a decision, a choice, to do better. To do true Good.
I don't know where you came from. I don't know your upbringing, or if it was anything but "up" but more like a tearing down that you somehow escaped. Either way - it shaped you. You had no choice.
But you do have a choice to do different. To do better. One can come to this conclusion at any point - but I pray it's as soon as possible because life is way shorter than we know. And those babies are more fragile than we know. And your heart is more fragile than a tiny rosebud emerging at the very beginning of spring when there's a huge possibility of frost returning. So be gentle with yourself. Forgive. Be gentle with your babies. Love them.
We'll see it come together one day. We'll see the good and the bad and how it all got woven together. And God will make it all Good. He promises.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
